Hundreds of truckles of cheddar worth more than £300,000 have been stolen from London cheese specialist Neal’s Yard Dairy.
Fraudsters posing as legitimate wholesalers received the 950 clothbound cheeses from the Southwark-based company before it was realised they were a fake firm.
Neal’s Yard said it had still paid the producers of the cheese so the individual dairies would not have to bear the costs.
It is now trying to deal with the financial setback, a spokesperson said.
“Alright boys, I want you to break into that warehouse and steal all the cheddar!”
“On it Boss!”
A few hours later
“What do you mean you stole 22 tonnes of cheese!? I meant the money you numbskulls!”
“But Boss, I can feel my skull just fine?”
“Aaarrrgggg!!!”
It was him
It’s the worst slang-based heist mix-up since the Baker Burglars (as they were later known) made off with a truck full of dough.
“Why I oughta…”
…truckles?
My first time hearing that word too, but apparently: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truckle
late Middle English (denoting a wheel or pulley): from Anglo-Norman French trocle, from Latin trochlea ‘sheaf of a pulley’. The current sense dates from the early 19th century and was originally dialect.
This is such a shame, I love Neal’s Yard. You go in there, and they just keep handing you little pieces of different delicious cheeses until you crumble and give them all of your money. It’s such a charming way of doing things, I overspend every single time, and never regret it.
TIL there’s a black market for cheese…
It’s the most stolen product in the world. Doesn’t depreciate in value and can be stored for a long time.
No Idea where that cheese went.
Someone watched the Garfield movie and said, “This gives me an idea…”
But … What does one do with 22 tonnes of cheddar? Is there a cheesy black market? Can you buy a wheel off a guy for Bitcoin?
Is there a cheesy black market?
There is, like there is for olive oil, or maple syrup. Especially if it’s authentic. Olive Oil infamously has multiple fakes floating about, where it’s something else passed off as olive oil.
Make some really cheesey Mac and cheese, grilled cheese, scrambled eggs, and pizza.
Really big fondue party
This sounds like a Carmen Sandiego heist
if they find out who took it, they tell him it’s
Not yo cheese!
notyo cheese!
nacho cheese.
I’m completely ignorant to Lemmys comment markup.
Somewhere Jake Peralta nods, satisfied.
that’s funny because “nods, satisfied” is the title of my sex tape.
Noice!
How the hell do you steal 22 tonnes of anything in the middle of London?
From the sounds of it; a rather special case of “show up with a saftey vest, a clipboard, and a determined look on your face, and most people just wave you through”
Warehouses often aren’t all that high security. You could get away with this in most of the ones I’ve worked in.
A clipboard with a spreadsheet printout will get you a long way in a lot of places.
I guess, but London is one of the most surveilled places I’ve ever seen. You are within the view of a CCTV camera pretty much everywhere.
Once it’s mobile, leave London and transfer it either to another city, or into different vehicles and back into London. It probably took a while for the warehouse to realize what had happened, so the thieves had quite a head start against the investigators.
It’s a game of hide and seek now, until they can offload it to a buyer.
It must have taken extensive planning. This will make an entertaining film one day.
Why would you assume there’s a buyer? Maybe these people just really really like cheese
If you ate two pounds of cheese a day every day (about 3700 calories), it would take 66 years to get through all 22 metric tons.
So you’re saying there IS a way!
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I can’t wait for the forthcoming movie, The Grate Cheese Robbery, starring Chedward Norton, Tilda Stilton, Brie Larson, Goudafrey Rush, and Dwayne “The Roquefort” Johnson. With a special appearance by Robert Paneero.
