• Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca
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    4 hours ago

    Hey, Google… What’s the best way to suck a dick?

    “Sorry, I don’t understand… But I found something else on the web. Do you want to know when sucking a dick, what’s the best way to do it?”

    … Yes…

    “Okay! … According to Dickopedia, when sucking a dick, the best way to do it is to place the dick deep in your mouth and schlurp on that thang while you suck on that thang. This will make it extra schlimy and grimy! When the blowjob was invented in 1876 by Massachusetts-based baker and suspected witch Edward (Schlick Eddie) Von Howth, schlurping was not a part of the east coast maritime vocabulary. According to --”

    HEY GOOGLE, STOP.

  • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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    2 hours ago

    There’s this Brazilian funk song, don’t know the name, but the lyrics goes something like “suck it slowly, suck it gently, don’t hurt your daddy’s dick, if you don’t know how to do it, then look in Google how it is”. And you kinda need to listen a lot of funk, and go to funk parties to know that song, so I like to use the last line “if you don’t know how to do it, then look in Google how it is” because is really casual and nobody knows where it comes.