Summary
A 24-year-old man, Daniel Schmidt, was arrested after allegedly disrupting a voting line and assaulting an election judge in Orland Park, Illinois.
Schmidt reportedly attempted to skip the line, ignored repeated instructions to wait, and punched an election judge who tried to stop him, knocking off their glasses.
Other patrons restrained him until police arrived, at which point Schmidt resisted arrest. He faces multiple charges, including aggravated battery against a person over 60 and resisting arrest.
tch. Danny, Danny, Danny. You done fucked up Danny boy.
Schmidt, huh? Good German name innit. Is that a tattoo on your neck there ol Danster? Hey - I hear in prison you can meet new people!
Y’see Danny - what we have here is something we call an egregious crime. Can you say egregious? . . . very close! Anyway, you’ve got a room full of people who saw you act like a total MAGAt and punch a poll worker. They don’t like that Danny. They’re gonna testify, Danny. You’re fucked on this one Danny.
But hey. Your demented rapist sociopath god will surely pardon you right? Good thing you didn’t make the national news with a big ol’ picture of your stupid ass face for - y’know - future gangs or whatever it is you may have wanted to do with your life or whatever.
On the other hand - it’s a hell of an origin story for someone who never shows up in social media or the news again and spends their life helping others because they fucked up so bad. There’s some audacious hope!