I watched Reality Bites as a teenager, and I’m convinced it had a negative influence on my life.
The character Ethan Hawke played became my role model, and he’s just not a very good one, at all.
Uhm, it kinda happened for me, I felt that this girl liked me but she said no the first time. I stuck around, as we were in the same group of friends, and after a while she changed her mind. We’ve been together for over a decade.
There’s an entire genre of tiktok videos out there of women saying things like “So this guy I like asked me out, and I said no, and he was like okay bye and just walked away. What is with men not pursuing women anymore?”
Hmm what was that hashtag popular a few years ago? #nomeanskeepgoing?
“No means no” they said. Meanwhile in this very thread: “I’m actually in love with the guy that stalked me.”
If you want no to mean no, you have to say different things when you mean something other than no. If you want to play hard to get, A) don’t, you suck at it and B) maybe let him know that’s the game you’re playing so he’ll actually try hard to get you instead of just taking a flat rejection at face value; ie don’t just say “no” say “You’ll have to try harder than that” or something that indicates you are open to further attention. What saying “no” when you actually mean “try harder” accomplishes is you filter out the guys who take no for an answer leaving your dating pool only filled with the men who don’t really care that much about consent.
As for the “I turned him down becuase I wasn’t interested in him, then we actually talked and turned out I actually like the guy” story…I guess maybe try actually talking to guys? Even if you don’t cream your gusset at first sight?
Eh, well, people are varied, don’t make the mistake of grouping all behaviours together, if someone says no and then loses a chance, that’s their problem tbh.
Relations and relationships are difficult, so as always, tolerance and understanding are key… of course there’s context, “no means no” was used in the context of sexual intercourse, there’s not much room for interpretation there.
Kinda happened for me and I’m the girl in the situation! I had a guy who was creepily obsessed with me and would threaten to hurt himself all the time if he didn’t get his way. He even showed up at my house uninvited once and he always kept insisting we were dating. I kept telling him we were just friends at best, that’s it, but he’d freak out, insist we were lovers, and have a panic attack. Eventually he’d forget all about it and just pretend I never said anything.
I didn’t call the cops because I’m honestly afraid of the police more than him at this point. (The police in this town are as stupid as they are accusatory sadly)
It has a weirdly happy ending. Eventually I just lost all patience and gave him the number for a therapist. He actually went, he realized I was afraid of him.
My plan was to finally “Break up with him” for REAL this time after a therapist set him straight.
He broke down in tears realizing that he was never really my boyfriend, at first he called me heartless saying that it wasn’t fair that from his perspective I had punished him for seeking out therapy I told him to get.
After he calmed down we hung out for a bit, but… then we actually stared dating because it turned out that with his meds keeping him stable he’s actually a wonderful person that I get along well with and I actually DO love him. My family has even pretty much accepted him as part of the fold with my mother saying that it’s like she’s gained a son all of a sudden.
We just spent Halloween together and watched Fritz The Cat while high on shrooms and eating candy, being super lovey dovey with each other and talking about the 70’s…
Unfortunately, this one goes both ways. Some women feel like they need to play hard to get, because otherwise they’re sluts, and also they want to know that a guy really likes her. It’s self defeating of course, on both sides.
Ya know, it kinda makes sense that Hollywood is full of sex criminals when you look at romantic comedies and are always left wondering “And he’s not in jail why?”
There’s a Christmas movie called Holiday in Handcuffs where a woman abducts a dude to play her boyfriend so her family gets off of her back, and naturally they actually fall in love by the end but also HOLY SHIT HOW IS THAT A THING
not making any claims about your friend’s situation, but i’ve seen this happen more than once also–pestering, caving, engagement-- and they ended very badly.
getting engaged or even married does not necessarily mean “happy together”
If a girl doesn’t like you, but you just keep pursuing her, everything will eventually work out and you’ll be happy together.
I watched Reality Bites recently and this was prominently displayed
I watched Reality Bites as a teenager, and I’m convinced it had a negative influence on my life.
The character Ethan Hawke played became my role model, and he’s just not a very good one, at all.
Lmao damn rip
Being told this time and time and time again has really fucked the male psyche over the years.
you don’t say…
Okay, what’s going on with that particular spot in Tampa? I’m not doing a web search on this, thanks.
the 3 mile radius search returned a “too many hits to display” error, so i had to change it to 1 mile
it’s st. petersburg, and it’s not unique to that area. try your own neighborhood. it’s a govt. website https://www.nsopw.gov/
The centre of that circle appears to be a tool shop. I don’t like what that might suggest…
it’s an address i lived at years ago. fun fact, there’s a public high school right near the middle
Uhm, it kinda happened for me, I felt that this girl liked me but she said no the first time. I stuck around, as we were in the same group of friends, and after a while she changed her mind. We’ve been together for over a decade.
It was the boombox outside her window that got her, wasn’t it? /s
I’m betting it was the weekly delivery of flowers with ‘anonymous’ notes that left no doubt who was sending them if a moment’s thought was used.
Actually it was watching Tank Girl together 🤷♂️
Fucking love Tank Girl
There’s an entire genre of tiktok videos out there of women saying things like “So this guy I like asked me out, and I said no, and he was like okay bye and just walked away. What is with men not pursuing women anymore?”
Hmm what was that hashtag popular a few years ago? #nomeanskeepgoing?
“No means no” they said. Meanwhile in this very thread: “I’m actually in love with the guy that stalked me.”
If you want no to mean no, you have to say different things when you mean something other than no. If you want to play hard to get, A) don’t, you suck at it and B) maybe let him know that’s the game you’re playing so he’ll actually try hard to get you instead of just taking a flat rejection at face value; ie don’t just say “no” say “You’ll have to try harder than that” or something that indicates you are open to further attention. What saying “no” when you actually mean “try harder” accomplishes is you filter out the guys who take no for an answer leaving your dating pool only filled with the men who don’t really care that much about consent.
As for the “I turned him down becuase I wasn’t interested in him, then we actually talked and turned out I actually like the guy” story…I guess maybe try actually talking to guys? Even if you don’t cream your gusset at first sight?
Eh, well, people are varied, don’t make the mistake of grouping all behaviours together, if someone says no and then loses a chance, that’s their problem tbh.
Relations and relationships are difficult, so as always, tolerance and understanding are key… of course there’s context, “no means no” was used in the context of sexual intercourse, there’s not much room for interpretation there.
Kinda happened for me and I’m the girl in the situation! I had a guy who was creepily obsessed with me and would threaten to hurt himself all the time if he didn’t get his way. He even showed up at my house uninvited once and he always kept insisting we were dating. I kept telling him we were just friends at best, that’s it, but he’d freak out, insist we were lovers, and have a panic attack. Eventually he’d forget all about it and just pretend I never said anything.
I didn’t call the cops because I’m honestly afraid of the police more than him at this point. (The police in this town are as stupid as they are accusatory sadly)
It has a weirdly happy ending. Eventually I just lost all patience and gave him the number for a therapist. He actually went, he realized I was afraid of him.
My plan was to finally “Break up with him” for REAL this time after a therapist set him straight.
He broke down in tears realizing that he was never really my boyfriend, at first he called me heartless saying that it wasn’t fair that from his perspective I had punished him for seeking out therapy I told him to get.
After he calmed down we hung out for a bit, but… then we actually stared dating because it turned out that with his meds keeping him stable he’s actually a wonderful person that I get along well with and I actually DO love him. My family has even pretty much accepted him as part of the fold with my mother saying that it’s like she’s gained a son all of a sudden.
We just spent Halloween together and watched Fritz The Cat while high on shrooms and eating candy, being super lovey dovey with each other and talking about the 70’s…
Life is strange.
I doubt it happens like this for most people.
Can recommend ‘pop culture detective’ on that one
Unfortunately, this one goes both ways. Some women feel like they need to play hard to get, because otherwise they’re sluts, and also they want to know that a guy really likes her. It’s self defeating of course, on both sides.
Next you’ll be telling me that “So, how often do you flick the bean?” is not a great pickup line.
What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy?
– Shark Attack 3
I want to lick you until you weep
Are you my cat? Sometimes he won’t stop!
Haha it’s from a movie.
Ya know, it kinda makes sense that Hollywood is full of sex criminals when you look at romantic comedies and are always left wondering “And he’s not in jail why?”
There’s a Christmas movie called Holiday in Handcuffs where a woman abducts a dude to play her boyfriend so her family gets off of her back, and naturally they actually fall in love by the end but also HOLY SHIT HOW IS THAT A THING
It worked for a friend of mine. They were friends, he kept trying to get her to date him and after a year of pestering she caved. They’re engaged now.
You just got to wear them down enough, break their willpower. They can learn to love in time.
not making any claims about your friend’s situation, but i’ve seen this happen more than once also–pestering, caving, engagement-- and they ended very badly.
getting engaged or even married does not necessarily mean “happy together”
Yeah, fair enough for the general case. I do think their situation is a good one though.