… and now for the resolution! I took all the suggestions from Last Week’s Comic to heart and tried to come up with something that satisfied most of them:

List of Idea Contributors:
Author Say Malicious Funny Crash Butt Music British Romance Beer
@T00l_shed@lemmy.world X X
@limelight79@lemm.ee X X
@RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee X
@TOModera@lemmy.world X Hay
@wabafee@lemmy.world X X
@GuyDudeman@lemmy.world X X X
@fpslem@lemmy.world X X
@superkret@feddit.org X X
@pulverizedcoccyx@lemmy.ca X X
@odd@feddit.org Hospital Hospital
@Deestan@lemmy.world Lawyer
@hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl X
@Venat0r@lemmy.world X
@richardisaguy@lemmy.world X
@Maultasche@lemmy.world X
@ouRKaoS@lemmy.today Sexy
@Samsy@lemmy.ml X
@RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee X
@Boozilla@lemmy.world Grey Poupon
@TheFriar@lemm.ee Friendly
@absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz Race
@andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works X
@bigboismith@lemmy.world Penis
@x00za@lemmy.dbzer0.com Existential
@Ignotum@lemmy.world Existential

New premise out in a few days!