What if shutting down and dissociating is relaxing to me?
Reality sucks, and I refuse to relax anywhere near it.
If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be relaxing, I’d be doing shit that might have me enjoy relaxing later. Relaxing when not needing to relax is just making excuses for slothfulness lol
I didn’t come to lemmy on my break to get called out like this
This woman awakened something in my as a kid, still not sure what it is about her that I like so much. I think her relationship with her husband was loving in such a casual and teasing way. Incredibly wholesome and cozy. I think her willingness to subvert authority and how much she clearly enjoy doing so appealed to me as well. She’s also very pretty so I am sure that played a part lol.
I blame her and katara for my taste in women.
This wasn’t drawn just for this picture?
It’s Pacha’s wife Chicha from the movie Emperor’s New Groove
Holy shit I knew I recognized that username, you made the burgerking pornhub peanuts post a few weeks ago 😭. I want you to know that post made my day.
Also idk if you were serious but no its a frame from The Emperor’s New Groove. A disney fantasy/comedy movie from 2000 based in the Incan empire of modern day Peru about an emperor who gets turned into a llama in a failed assassination attempt.
I feel like the bad guy in the street fighter movie. There’s a scene where an asian woman is being held captive, and the bad guy wants to know why she’s so angry with him.
She says “10 years ago you came to my village, killed the men and children, raped the women, and burned the village to the ground. You killed my father! You don’t remember???”
And the bad guy says “For you it was the most important day of your life. The day you met the great ruler. For me? It was just Tuesday.”
And that’s kind of how I live my life. I mean, not so much the murder and rape. I don’t do that.
But I show up in threads, say some random shit running through my brain, and leave. Confusing the absolute shit out of everyone in the process. The key is, I’m just a really weird guy who uses Lemmy as an outlet for both my boredom, AND my lonelyness!
Burger King pornhub and peanuts? I mean…it sounds like me, but I would need more context to remember the thread.
Sometimes I’ll see posts from months ago I said and I’ll say “Holy shit, I SAID that??? THAT’S AWESOME!!!”
I really wish I could monitize my weirdness.
HEY!!! YOU!!! GIVE ME MONEY!!!
…did it work? Do I have money?
There’s a watermark with the name of the movie
Wait, is that not what relaxing is?
I honestly cant tell anymore when I truly did the former, its sad really
They are one and the same, right? Right?
Yeah, is there a difference?
10 hour shift, away for 13 hours. That first sip of IPA is one of the most relaxing experiences ever. Only topped when I rip a bowl and take a nice hot lavender bubble bath. Life is fucking miserable and I hate it, but I’ll get my time and I’m going to enjoy it.
Disassociating from my inability to sleep.
Anyone got actual tips for dealing with this?
Alright I called him and the conversation wasn’t as fruitful as I hoped but he does have some advice. I will start with the dissapointing news first.
He said the main way he has dealt with it is getting used to it. He used to regularly stress about how the constant minor dissasociation and occasional severe dissasociative episodes were probably going to be something he dealt with for the rest of his life and whether he is correct about that or not it led him down some negative thought spirals that made is dissasociation issue worse with time. Over the past few years he has come to accept this as out of his control and tries not to worry about it to much. He focuses on managing symptoms as they arrive and chooses not to stress about what may or may not be. Unfortunately this isn’t possible for everyone and I think he has only managed it through significant distraction.
So, for the advice I’m just gonna use a bullet point list of things he said that helped as well as some things I remember helping me as I talked to him about it.
- listening to music
- having a long term goal that you genuinely want to work towards, not just something you think you need to do. (For him its a power lifting wr, going to the gym helps him a lot)
- going for a walk with or without something to listen to depending on how you feel
- going outside and just touching grass for a bit, I mean this literally. Personally I got outside to watch and listen to the birds, I find that the natural world grounds me to reality.
- calling someone you are close with and talking to them about how you’re feeling if it is particularly bad
- He also texted me this “Focusing on all the different noises I can hear, and the tingling in my hands and feet helps me a lot sometimes. When I was home in [redacted] I would go lay out on the grass and focus on the feeling of the wind or sun.”
I think some of those were repetitive but I hope it helps somewhat.
Damn, I really appreciate that. It’s hard to deal with, so it makes sense that the main advice is getting used to it. I take meds but I also don’t have a lot of income right now (kind of due to this problem but also other personal reasons) so I’ve been rationing and I think that was a mistake. My main symptom is intrusive thoughts so dissociation helped manage that at first but now it’s like, really debilitating lol.
Anyway, thanks to you and your roommate; I think other people will probably also find your comment at least somewhat helpful.
these words were just what i needed this evening. thank you for sharing. 🙏
Music sometimes helps me but the dissasociative moments I have aren’t too severe. I’ll ask my roommate what he does and get back to you because I know he struggles with it more than I do.
I hate music.
I used to find music unenjoyable as well and still occasionally go through multi-month long phases where I just don’t listen to music. Couldn’t tell you why though 🤷
I had a little bit of success with grounding, but you kinda have to be aware you’re zoning out. Look at or touch an item, like observe the crap out of it describing it to yourself for a few seconds and then move on to another after a moment. Doing something engaging enough to hold your focused attention helps, but it’s also hard to motivate yourself to want to zone back in. Basically you got to focus on the outside world and drown out your inner thoughts. You only can really manage to focus inside or outside at once.
Are they not the same?
Honestly, it’s been so long I’m not sure I can even differentiate anymore.
