When I was 18, I was slinging tapes as a Blockbuster assistant manager, and my go-to recommendation for customers was Strange Days. Then at age 40, I finally realized I was trans, and somewhere down the line it occurred to me that my love of this film should have been a clue.
This is the correct answer. The first time it cramped, my wife was begging me to stand on it as I massaged it while screaming in agony. The second time it happened she wasn’t home, so I decided to just try what she had told me to do and poof the pain disappeared.