It does seem pretty safe to assume that the ballot was signed sometime between the time it was printed and the date it was postmarked which, given the fast-paced and tumultuous nature of American politics, surely cannot be that wide of a window. And if the purpose is to somehow catch people submitting ballots after the cutoff date, surely one would expect a wouldbe election fraudster to lose no sleep in also falsifying an earlier date, making one wonder why this information is all that pertinent to begin with.

Now, a more cynical person might assume that this was just another one of those little traps specifically engineered to attract common mistakes (knowing full well that some of us are still putting the year down as “2015” because goddammit, what the hell time is it?) which can then be selectively enforced depending on whether or not you want to invalidate a large swath of votes. But I mean, surely our very trustworthy elected officials would never do such a thing…

I hear he eats televisions for breakfast. Drives around in an old pickup truck at 70 miles an hour knocking radio antennas off the side of the road with a baseball bat. You know, probably.

Also, the usual litany of opposes net neutrality, loves the bold new direction Twitter has been taking, hates any form of disinformation oversight and also apparently hates fiberoptic cables(?!) and thinks it would be great if social media stopped censoring his people and started censoring those other people already. Those ones were real.

Yeah, I mean, not really, if I’m honest.

Both are still showing up full price for me, if that helps.

…Think it’s too late to get a refund?

…Let them fight, I guess?

Despite its name, so-called kidney disease is rarely caused by an overabundance of kidneys

So not only has he quite literally decimated their readerbase but he’s also made every other newspaper run the story that they were going to endorse Harris anyway, instead of likely just limiting that information to the handful of Washington Post subscribers that cared enough to check. Great quash, Jeff, you really shut that one down.

Furthermore, as a creation of Victor Frankenstein, calling the monster “a Frankenstein” is no more inaccurate than calling Guernica “a Picasso,” or a 1996 Camry “a Toyota.”

“Alright, that’s it! It’s super-duper double-dog war times infinity, no backsies!”

That’s either Hayao Miyazaki or Japanese Colonel Sanders, it can be hard to tell the difference sometimes

It’s Denis Villeneuve but I’ll be damned if that isn’t the least Denis Villeneuve-lookin’ picture of Denis Villeneuve I’ve ever seen

Ted Cruz can be more than one thing. Don’t pigeonhole Ted Cruz.

this is the weirdest political compass I’ve ever seen