You’re right, I had it backwards. Hydrostatic equilibrium makes it that the combined force vector of gravity and the centrifugal force is perpendicular to the planet surface everywhere.

This. Planets are in hydrostatic equilibrium, meaning that the combined acceleration by gravity and the centrifugal “force” is equal all over the world (except for local differences due to mountains and dense crust).

This has “Brazil, neighbouring country to France” energy.

Are hard tacos actually nice to eat? Whenever I see them in movies and such, it seems like the tortilla would just shatter the moment you bite into it.