It was that day that Dave learned what a constrictor is

“I was the killer all along! I was testing your abilities as a father!”

“Shaun! Shaun! Shaaaaaaaun!”

Oysters Rockefeller here has provided us with genu-ine turkey dogs!

See, I don’t understand acts of god as it pertains to insurance. Acts of god are unforeseen, unavoidable accidents. What is insurance for if not literally that exact situation?

It’s a joke about checkers. When you get a piece to the end of the board, that piece gets “kinged” by placing a second piece on top of it, usually one you’ve lost during the game. (That piece can then move both forwards and backwards.)

That was how I felt about Blair Witch. Full disclosure, I don’t like horror to begin with, but to me the movie was about a group of people in the woods with a scary thing somewhere, and when they finally find the thing it ends.

It’s like if Texas Chainsaw was about a bunch of teenagers who stood around while you hear a chainsaw running somewhere in the distance, the cuts to black right when the killer shows up.

I couldn’t watch it, not because it wasn’t good but because I was constantly getting unbelievably depressed about how accurately it mirrors the world today. Every scene had me thinking “this would be funny if it wasn’t exactly how it would actually pan out.” I think it might be hilarious a few decades after this all blows over but right now it hits way too close to home.

And they won the Senate and are on track to win the house. The supreme Court is already in Trump’s pocket and even if he choked on a big Mac and keeled over tomorrow that still leaves Vance, who is just as insane as trump but knows how to make his shit palatable to anyone who hasn’t been paying attention, which as tonight proves is more than half the country. We are 1000% well and truly fucked.

Luck of the Fryish, I think, right after Fry declares his bad luck is over and then slips and falls into the sewer.

Nah, good guess but Bender flushes himself in that one and Leela and Fry go looking for him. I think this is Luck of the Fryish, when they went looking for Fry’s seven-leaf clover.

The unfortunate drawback of democracy: these people get the same vote the most well-informed altruistic voters do.

I think we still can’t beat Giuliani booking the four seasons gardening center next to the dildo emporium.

Was that before or after trying to sexually gratify the microphone?

Or the same form, with a different coat of paint.

That’s crazy, his communication skills are on another level. It’s like instead of saying something he’s super-sayin’.

Don’t worry, some turbulence is par for the course but dangerous turbulence is pretty rare. Also 50 feet is an exaggeration, turbulence usually feels worse than it is. Plane rides are usually smoother than driving in a car, but flying can make you sensitive to lateral motion.

Is there a Beetlejuicing community on Lemmy yet?

They’re both Frankenstein, and also they’re both monsters. Victor shouldn’t have made the monster, and he should’ve done more to stop it, but the monster was also an asshole. Being treated like a monster doesn’t make it okay to act like one.

Kinda. He later said he was being sarcastic.

Who turgled?!