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Cake day: October 9th, 2023

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  • Presidential elections are run by states. They keep track of who is registered to vote, they run polling places, they print ballots, they own the machines that are used to cast and/or count votes, and every election worker ultimately reports to - and is paid by - their governor.

    The president has no role, at all. He can’t hire election workers, can’t access polling places, can’t look at voter registries, and has no voting machines. Intentionally, to avoid schemes like yours.

    So to extend the dialog:

    Biden: Hey, all the governors flaked out so I’m hiring people to rerun the election myself. I’ll pay you $10,000. Bring 699,999 of your friends, we gotta build a whole new bureaucracy from scratch.

    Passerby: Is that even in your budget?

    Biden: Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll pay you $100,000! Also, order a voting machine on Amazon. I’ll reimburse you later.

    Passerby: I’m never getting paid, am I?

    Biden: Are you helping me or not? Also I need your home address, it’s gonna be a polling place. I’ll throw in $200,000 for your legal fees if you’re arrested for election fraud, like those false electors in 2020 that you bear no resemblance to!

    Passerby: No thanks.

    Biden: But I got immunity, baby! Immunity!


  • Biden: Hey, it’s the POTUS. Your state needs to repeat the election. Make sure they use RCV, and I want you to tell the police to arrest nonvoters.

    Governor: No.

    Biden: But I’m immune from prosecution

    Governor: Still no.

    Biden: I’ll come down there and kill you with my bare hands!

    Governor: I don’t think so.

    Biden: I’ll send Seal Team Six to do it, and then pardon them!

    Governor: They know you can’t pardon state murder charges.

    Biden: You know immunity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.










  • He ran as someone who would bring together Blue America and Red America in the spirit of bipartisanship.

    From the beginning, he intentionally reached out to Republicans.

    We worship an awesome God in the blue states, and we don’t like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the red states. We coach Little League in the blue states and, yes, we’ve got some gay friends in the red states.

    His 2008 acceptance speech at the DNC mentions “Republicans” five times, and never in a disparaging manner. It does not mention labor unions even once.

    Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and independents across this great land — enough! This moment — this election — is our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive.

    The Bush-McCain foreign policy has squandered the legacy that generations of Americans — Democrats and Republicans — have built, and we are here to restore that legacy.

    I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a red America or a blue America – they have served the United States of America.

    The challenges we face require tough choices, and Democrats as well as Republicans will need to cast off the worn-out ideas and politics of the past.

    And I’ve seen it in this campaign. In the young people who voted for the first time, and in those who got involved again after a very long time. In the Republicans who never thought they’d pick up a Democratic ballot, but did.







  • FlowVoid@lemmy.worldtopolitics @lemmy.worldLiberals Are Giving Up on America
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    6 days ago

    Pundits are losing their minds, but I don’t think the Democratic party leaders are giving up.

    My hunch is that they are playing the long game. They are counting on three things. First, Trump’s plans will crash the economy. Second, the Trump White House always turns on its own. Third, with a GOP trifecta there isn’t much Democrats can do to stop Trump - for now.

    So any demands they make now will be ignored, and even used in the future to blame Democrats as obstructionist. I think they are lying low and giving the GOP what they need to hang themselves. When the public is furious about the economy, it will be time to start making demands.

    Basically, it’s the political equivalent of the Willy Wonka gif