Befriended him
Your cat is very disappointed by your lacklustre work ethic.
It goes both ways. I kill more creepy crawlies then he does.
Soon.
Open a nearby window just a crack and they’ll spy on the neighbors for you. Mine has so much gossip to tell me every afternoon.
I took the “I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…” route. Now they know to leave me alone most of the time when I’m busy but will come to me if they need some love. Or they’re really hungry.
Box
You see nothing!
Try reporting this to feline resources.
Have you tried offering him drugs? I know a guy who knows a guy that can get you a good deal on that 'nip.
lasers
You need to unionize.
…the pet snack bakery down the road.
Calling my supervisor a dirty little pussy is usually a no no, but in this case…
They disapprove of your desk cable management
Get him a heated pad he can chill on near your desk. I’ve found cats are attracted to the waste heat of electronics as much as anything. Make sure it’s a good perch so he can still supervise.
Idk if this was an actual ask for help or not. I have a very helpful kitty who loves sleeping on laptop keyboards!
Dude loves heat. Will risk his life to snag my chair when I stand to stretch.
Almost sat on him a few times.
