• thefartographer@lemm.ee
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      28 days ago

      I usually shit poop or farts. Sometimes both. I’ve yet to shit apples, but I’m intrigued by your directive. Any advice or procedures you can offer?

      • Guy Dudeman@lemmy.world
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        28 days ago

        I think he means something along the lines of “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and the shit rolls downhill” or something?

        • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          28 days ago

          Nah, it’s shit-apples and shit-trees. I was just using pedantry as an excuse to make poop jokes.

          Side note: the principal where I used to work would say “spotted dogs have spotted puppies,” about the kids who didn’t stand a chance to avoid a bad situation at school because they were raised by shitty parents.

          I also once witnessed him telling a parent, “yes, I know your child is the most special kid at our school and that you’re a very special parent, which is why you feel you should be prioritized and why it’s okay for you to be rude. But I just need you to remember that I have all of these other special parents *sweeping arm gesture* whose kids are also the most special child at our school. So instead of endangering the other special kids, you’re just going to have to be a little bit patient like the wonderful special parent I know you can be.” Fucking epic.