My fiance and I took in a stray female kitten about 3 months ago. She was 2 months old at the time, so 5 months now. She showed up at my fiance’s coworker’s door and once my partner saw the pictures, she wanted her.
I’m going to be honest and say that I didn’t want to take her in. My fiance must have asked over 30 times in 2 weeks. She was in tears pleading before I finally caved. And I regret it. I regret it a lot.
We are not equipped to handle her. We live in a loft style apartment with only one door (to the bathroom). She doesn’t have enough space to be a cat, and we’re gone an average of 9-10 hours a day for work.
Our cat can be really sweet when she’s calm, but that’s increasingly rare as she gets more bored with the lack of human companionship. She’s even losing interest in her toys and I just don’t think this environment is good for her.
Beyond that, I just need space from her. My job is stressful (as is my partner’s) and I don’t have the mental or physical energy to give this kitten attention, and nowhere to go to get a break. It’s reached a point where I dread coming home and I enjoy work more.
This cat is just an unrelenting ball of energy. She’s destructive, she doesn’t know what boundaries are, etc. And while none of that is her fault, I’m just not ready for it. I have too much on my plate already. I even started therapy just to try to find ways to cope, but I’m frequently the target of our cat’s play aggression and none of the therapy exercises help me deal with that.
I am stuck doing most of the cat duties because, despite her repeated assurances, my fiance will not step up and do much to care for her.
But at the same time, I worry about what her life will be like if we send her to a shelter. Where should I even begin? The vet we got her fixed at just said “well, what did you expect? She’s a kitten.” Which is true, but not very helpful.
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I’m going to start by saying you need to have a frank discussion with your fiance about who’s responsible for the cat. I’m taking a bit of a leap here, but it sounds like this isn’t the only problem with communication between you two. Also, and I think you know this, but taking the cat to a shelter will put a wedge between you and your fiance if she isn’t fully on board with the idea.
As for the cat, well, she’s a kitten. It’s what they do. But it won’t be forever, she will start to calm down in about another 6 months to a year. The constant need to play will start to disappear and probably turn into the need for lap time. She’s a lot of work now, but when she’s fully grown she’ll be a lot more independent and easier to handle. You might even find she’ll become a great companion once the kitten energy wears off.
As she grows and learns how to cat, her instincts are telling her what to do when she encounters prey. And the only way for her to get good is to “practice,” unfortunately on you. When she starts, grab one of her toys and dangle it in front of her. If she starts going for it, toss it for her to chase.
A toy I suggest you get for her is a Kong Kickeroo. She’ll be able to wrap herself around it (like I assume she tries to do with your hands, arms, legs and feet) and really go to town on it. It’s good for her and good for you, since she can burn off her energy without causing you pain. To add to her enjoyment, you can grab the tail of the toy and give it gentle tugs while she’s wrapped around it to mimic the toy “struggling” to get free.
I hope some of this will help!