• ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Once when my sister and I were teenagers, she was hogging the computer and so I just picked up the chair with her in it to move her out of my way. As I walked past, her friend (whom I hadn’t touched) used her bite to make an attack of opportunity against me. It wasn’t gentle - there was no blood but there were tooth-marks.

    I had mixed feelings afterwards. On the one hand, it hurt. On the other hand, a girl touched me. With her mouth. I had never been kissed at that point but being bitten was close…

    (I didn’t end up marrying her.)


    Also a d6 bite is nonsense. The average commoner has 4 hp and 10 strength, so one commoner would be able to kill another commoner with a single bite 50% of the time. I’m not saying a human bite can’t be lethal, but it’s not “stabbed with a shortsword” lethal. Meanwhile, even a d4 bite from a level 1, 16-str barbarian is already invariably lethal to a commoner.

    (Yeah, I know, HP isn’t supposed to be realistic, etc. I just hate fun.)

  • Aielman15@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Props to this person for never washing their mouth off their friend’s blood. I’m sure they had the chance to do it, but chose to walk all over the hospital with their mouth covered in blood so that the nurse could see it, otherwise the joke wouldn’t have landed.

  • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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    2 months ago

    LOL, that’s amazing.

    Also, d4 is the damage of a dagger, which is a weapon made specifically to kill people and has a ~25% chance of killing a commoner (who typically has 4 hp) in one hit with just the rolled damage.

      • Rolando@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I’m not looking to get married, but keep in mind it’s a Barbarian bite. So the biter’s half-feral and accustomed to gnawing on raw meat.

          • Rolando@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            But imagine a barbarian bit a DM, and then some guy who hit the gym a lot and could lift as much as the barbarian bit an identical DM. I maintain that the barbarian would do more damage, due to a lifetime of e.g. breaking bones with their mouth, gnawing the bark off a tree, etc.

            • festnt@sh.itjust.works
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              2 months ago

              but why would a barbarian do all those things? the barbarian class is just a strong and tough guy who gets angry, not an actual barbarian that eats bark and stuff like that

              i mean they can be but they can also be simple people who are strong and get angry easily (without doing what people would call barbarities)

    • shneancy@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      i know people on the Internet have seemingly impossibly boring lives where nothing ever happens to them - but this isn’t even that hard to believe

      • halyk.the.red@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        It just seems like a bit much to be believable to me.

        It makes me think of a story that they wanted to tell, but they realized it was maybe kind of boring, so they added fun details for the sake of it.

        I’m sure elements of it are true, like I’d be willing to bet the whole thing about the damage going from a d4 to d6 was just a conversation.

        It’s a cute story for sure, but for me, it’s a touch beyond the suspension of disbelief.

        But hey, if I’m wrong, I wish them many happy returns.

    • Comment105@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      I don’t know, I don’t think anyone would come up with something like this.

      Frankly, it sounds plausible.