If you don’t need them they’re just more cost

Yeah, tell me another joke. the cost is negligible. Literally from cents to a few dollars for the manufacturer.

more holes where water/debris can get into the machine

This literally never happened to me or anyone I know.

more wrong holes to plug the charger into

If you plug in your usb-c/barrel jack charger into an ethernet/hdmi/displayport input, you deserve to have a broken laptop xD

If you do need them, then buy a machine that has them - there are plenty.

Not really true, but ok. Keep on preaching for companies that screw over consumers :)