Don’t you just hate it when the cashier thinks you’re getting ready to board Mr. Bones’ Wild Ride?
Went to the pharmacy to get a box of condoms and they asked if I wanted a bag. I said “no thanks, I’ll just turn out the lights.”
Take my wife, please!
For here or to go?
Genius
That’s crazy. I literally heard this is exact joke today on a short; I think Warzone and dude was downed and his OPP said tell me a joke and if I laugh I’m let you live.
Wild to me that’s shit like this happens. Like never heard the joke then twice in a day.
Maybe that was me.
That would be crazier. Was it you?
Such Weird. Much Awkward.
Hot take: If you’re immature enough to be embarrassed buying condoms, you shouldn’t be having sex.
Seriously, the checkout assistant couldn’t give two shits about you, you’re just another face they’ll forget the second you walk out the door and that’s if they have their brain switched on while working what is a very repetitive and mind numbing job.
It’s not about maturity.
Society has this bad habit of conditioning people for or against certain ideologies, and sex and contraception are two hot button topics that could easily make a timid person even more intimidated. There is also the gossip factor in case the person is going to a store with people they know working or shopping there, and are concerned about “word getting around” about them being promiscuous.
Meh, that’s not even a lukewarm take. It’s a common sentiment.
BUT
It won’t make embarrassed teenagers any less horny.
We all gotta start somewhere. No need to shame people for something many experience.
First time I bought condoms, I also bought goldfish crackers.
I once bought a dog collar and leash, a pack of darts, and a child’s car seat at the same time. The Target cashier looked at me hard before I put it together, then we both cracked up.
The free market wants what it wants I guess.
I once bought a six pack of beer, some vaseline, a cucumber and rubber gloves. On a Friday afternoon. Didn’t think about it until I got a very weird look from the cashier.
I don’t get it. A baby is going to throw darts at a tied-up dog?
Nah, leashed up baby as darts practice. The car seat is just to ensure the dartboard gets there safely.
Baby on board!
I can’t put it together either
We gotta have a dogelore
There’s one called dogeposting, but it’s not very active.
the problem is whatever you throw in the cart with it is now evaluated in context of the condoms.
How the hell is buying condoms awkward?
“Price check on extra small condoms!”
Seriously, you should also buy lube.
I usually throw some condoms in my cart to make the ski mask, duct tape and shovel seem less embarrassing
I um, let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two.
I used to try to make it as awkward as possible. Condoms, lube, a bottle of wine, and whatever phallic fruit I could find.
- Condoms
- Lube
- Wine
- Metal coat hangers
- Duct tape
- Bandaids
- Turkey baster
- Teen Magazine
You have to follow up any looks or double takes with something exra.
“Oh don’t worry. That’s for after.” wiggles eyebrows
I’d also be weirded if the condoms were in the eggs isle
Nothing weird about making sure people don’t accidentally fertilise their eggs
I think that was a potential “something else” aisle.
I would go into the pet section and buy some collars and leashes too. Then I’d smile at the cashier and say I’m having a party. And I’d buy like…10 packs of condoms along with them, maybe some lube too
Go to a line with your preferred sex and give em a wink
