The devil was not there in Eden. The Bible simply says a serpent.
Excellent contribution
The bible says lots of stuff, like this weird erotica about two slutty concubine sisters and how much they loved cock (which was too much):
“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
https://biblehub.com/ezekiel/23-20.htm
Truly, Divine Inspiration was given that day to that author. Praise be to Him for sharing His weird Smut with us little people.
Isn’t that the story that ends in a brutal execution of the sisters? Because the author couldn’t think of nothing but the prostitutes that wouldn’t lay with him?
https://biblehub.com/bsb/ezekiel/23.htm
Yeah, something like that. Not really an incel-revenge, though. More like hyper-possessive misogyny. Dude “marries” a couple of prostitutes from another country. Brings them home. Very likely they aren’t super happy with the arrangement since they are inviting dudes from back home to come over. Author frames it as if they prefer their donkey sized cocks (tiny penis rage). The author has a “chat” with God and God’s prognosis of the situation is to first condemn their “infidelity” to their face and then gather a mob to do some brutal shit to the women.
Sounds pretty incel to me, ngl.
The serpent is an embodiment of Satan
It’s retconned that way. There’s nothing that directly connects the serpent of Genesis, the one “roaming throughout the earth” in Job, and the character of Satan later on. Satan wasn’t developed as a character until after the Babylonian Exile. You can make it all fit, but the text alone doesn’t say that and the writers didn’t think of it that way.
Exactly, all my downvotes for stating a historical fact about a fictional book
This is not biblically accurate. She should be naked, since she doesn’t yet have knowledge of good and evil, and god considers nudity evil, because he is a prude. But also he didn’t clothe Adam and Eve, cause he’s a perv.
It’s actually just for support, they’re pretty heavy
Also bellybutton shouldn’t exist on Adam and Eve.
How do you think god counted them? Poke a finger in the belly.
I chuckled. Thanks
Like poppin fresh?
or should it…
no, no, a birthing God entity is a gross thought, stop…
The comic is obviously of a theatre reproduction of the event.
To be fair they also didn’t have genitals since they can’t Fuck, so maybe they literally have nothing to be ashamed of.
Unrelated but they also shouldn’t have belly buttons because they weren’t born.
I don’t think that interpretation, i. e. the absent genitals, is canon.
so NOW we’re drawing the line?
Tell St. Augustine that.
I will
today’s kids have the wildest headcanons smh
I still ship mary and god tho
Get this: there’s some people who think it’s canon that the serpent is Satan. Just connecting up two characters from different parts of the writing completely at random.
No genitals? Where did Eve’s children came from? She shat them?
I don’t know where did Eve come from?
Adam’s ribcage. What? It makes perfect sense!
…then how do they have children? where did Cain and Abel come from?
…and where did all the people that came after Cain and Abel come from? Who was their mother?
Cain and Able weren’t Adam and Eves only children. Keep in mind that canonically, Adam lived for over 900 years. That’s a lot of time you can use to make more babies.
After the whole regicide incident, they also had Seth. Both him and his exiled brother ended up marrying their sisters. Their descendants did the same. So yeah, it’s all incest, top to bottom.
The biblical flood was actually created to wipe out the descendants of Cain, since Noah and his cousins wife were both descendants of Seth
Still no answer as to where did humans other than Adam and Eve came from.
Or, if you’re of a more gnostic bent, half fallen angel, half human nephilim who’d been teaching humans forbidden knowledge, such as advanced metal-crafting and makeup.
My quip with the artistic choice is that they made Eve have very very long hair which could have served as breast cover. But they chose to add the inaccurate leaves…
And the bible never says the fruit was an apple
According to white men can’t jump it was a quince.
Given the era, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually a fig
Probably edible bark.
I’ve never tried to eat bark, do I need the whole dog or…?
just the vocal cords.
It’s the garden of eden so there’s no reason to believe that it’s a fruit we have. My head canon is that it was a giant, fruit shaped flaming hot Cheeto
So it was a FIG-ticious fruit?
And snakes don’t have human torsos.
so, something like this?
spoiler
___
the perfect woman…
That demon was turned to a snake after the whole fruit debacle. Jod even gave a speech on how that would be a suitable punishment.
The demon is referred to as a serpent from its introductiom then god removes the serpents legs to make the serpent more serpenty. I blame the author for writing bad and confusing me.
Did you just “um actually” my “um actually”?
hell yeah brother
This implies that the garden of Eden was in the US as they’re the only ones that know what pumpkin spice even is.
Her wearing a bra even before having a bite suggests that too.
was going to say, she was supposed to be naked.
Maybe 10 years ago but nowadays it’s internationally much more ubiquitous
I don’t think many places share this seasonal pumpkin obsession.
Sure they do. Marketing people will try to sell us anything they can imagine. Maybe we’ll have a Thanksgiving in Finland at some point. We already have Black Friday. Great excuse to sell more stuff.
No.
Bottomless but not topless? Eden was a wild place!
Maybe she has a leaf at the front like they are often depicted
Just like Winnie the Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood
And my house after 2am.
And those girls at the party in Harold & Kumar 2.
The “apple” was a persimmon?
Actually, the Bible just says it’s the fruit of a tree.
It could have been an orange, pomegranate, or banana.
Weed, they got baked and leaned the knowledge of good and evil.
A nut, bit right through the shell
I bet it was a banana, bitches love warm bananas.
Or a log of wood
Pomegranates are one of the oldest cultivated fruits, so they’re somewhat plausible, but I’m fairly certain humans made oranges (and most other citruses, through selection and grafting… though I guess it could have been a mandarin, pomelo, or citron, which seem to be the three we started with) and bananas (through selection and cloning), so it couldn’t have been those.
Apples, on the other hand, seem to have existed long before humans, so they’re definitely a possibility.
It was probably some kind of nut, though.
I’ve been wondering about this for a while, and I’ve come to the conclusion that blackberries are probably the original thing. Brambles grow like weeds all over Europe, I don’t think anyone is cultivating them to be different. Apples definitely have had a human hand in selecting the best apples to start fresh orchards with.
I’m open to correction though.
Hence the quotes
Let’s go with Durian.
Or jackfruit. Or jaboticaba.
“apple” used to just mean “fruit”
